1. Long, long ago, in 2007, the world was #blessed when a woman by the name of Miss Tiffany Pollard came into our lives. She would go by the name of “New York.”
2. New York was a legendary icon. Until that time in history, mid-2007 to be exact, there had been no person as insightful and smart. She was, in a word, “enlightened.”
12. Words were another weapon she used quite well.
13. New York had mythical powers. She could spot a big dick from a mile away.
16. People would try to talk behind her back, but New York would always find out.
17. Loud packs of idiot bitches never got the best of her.
18. And if your name was Pumkin, forget about it.
She told the #truth. “Get a fucking facelift,” she would say.
20. “Soldiers cry and dogs cry and I cry. We cry. We all fucking cry.”
22. New York believed no one should ever feel shamed by the amount they drink.
26. Unfortunately, this meant she often ended up in a “food coma.”
29. She preferred thugs who drank a lot and wore baggy clothes.
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