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Man ‘Accidentally Killed’ His Girlfriend With A Cucumber

There is something about sex that makes people do crazy things.

I’ve heard the urban horror stories of men putting poor hamsters in their bottoms, and even experienced the nightmarish sensation of Two Girls One Cup.

In a very sad turn of events a man has reportedly ‘accidentally killed’ his girlfriend after using a cucumber as a sex toy. 46-year-old Oliver Dietmann could face up to five years in jail after she choked on the cucumber he was using to “pleasure her”.

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He told The Daily Mail that after consuming four bottles of wine, he:

“put [the cucumber] in her mouth. But suddenly I saw there was smoke coming from the kitchen. I forgot that I had put a piece of meat on the stove for my dog. I ran to the kitchen, fed my dog then went on the balcony to smoke a cigarette.”

When he returned, she was sadly unconscious and despite trying, he couldn’t get all of the cucumber out of her mouth.

A postmortem showed that his partnet, Rica Varna, was four times over the legal limit when she died, and that cause of death was by a piece of the vegetable lodged in her throat.

How horrible.

Our thoughts go out to her family at this sad time.

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