1. TAKE ONE SIP WHEN:
2. Seth MacFarlane acknowledges that he’s an odd choice to host the Oscars.
Kevin Winter / Getty Images
3. Seth MacFarlane references Anne Hathaway’s disastrous hosting gig.
Academy Awards
4. The camera pans to Anne Hathaway, who can’t believe he went there!
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
5. Ben Affleck does something charming in response to Seth MacFarlane’s joke about his Best Director snub.
Kevin Winter / Getty Images
7. Seth MacFarlane references Emmanuelle Riva’s advanced age and implies that she will die soon.
Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images
8. Someone at your Oscars party says, “Wait, she died??” during the In Memoriam montage.
Michael Loccisano / Getty Images
10. A winner says, “I hear the music, but I have more people to thank!”
Academy Awards
12. TAKE TWO SIPS WHEN:
14. Hugh Jackman extolls the virtues of his beautiful wife, WHOM HE LOVES VERY MUCH.
Andreas Rentz / Getty Images
16. The ceremony, which is running long, is compared to the torture scenes in “Zero Dark Thirty.”
Columbia Pictures
17. Seth MacFarlane makes a joke about “Octopussy” during the James Bond tribute.
19. The camera pans between exes. One sip for each spurned lover.
Michael Buckner / Getty Images
20. There’s a montage of classic movies and no one knows what it’s for.
21. Sofia Vergara shows up in a commercial. (Sip Diet Pepsi!)
22. Someone at your Oscars party shames you for not having seen “Amour.”
Sony Pictures Classics
23. Any acceptance speech quotes Lincoln.
24. CHUG WHEN:
25. Seth MacFarlane starts speaking in the Stewie voice. And don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.
FOX
26. Someone does a full reenactment of Jodie Foster’s coming out speech.
Golden Globes
27. You accidentally make eye contact with Barbra Streisand.
Jason Merritt / Getty Images
28. Someone at your Oscars party brags about having seen all the Best Foreign Film nominees.
29. You realize “Snow White and the Huntsman” has two more Academy Award noms than you do.
Universal Pictures
30. Dame Shirley Bassey and Adele come to blows over who sang a Bond song better.
Dan Kitwood / Getty Images
31. Anne Hathaway begins her acceptance speech. You’re going to need it.
33. Jennifer Lawrence finds a way to reference “The First Wives Club” again.
Golden Globes
34. You realize you are hopelessly attracted to Seth MacFarlane.
Mark Davis / Getty Images
Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/your-academy-awards-drinking-game
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