Having a freedom hangover? Need something to get you through to America Day No. 3 (a.k.a. Labor Day)? Well, this should help do the trick.
1. America is a place where chill birds can shoot the shit — freely.
2. Where everything smells like ONE THING.
3. It’s a place where this pickup line CAN work 100 percent of the time.
*If you’re a bald eagle.
4. A place where even though they told us we’re out of the World Cup — our chances still look good.
5. Btw… World, watch out in 2018 — we know the rules now.
6. It’s a land where there’s no such thing as “bad” breath.
7. A place where this kid gets a gold star.
8. This man gets a gun and a badge.
9. And she gets a gold medal.
10. A place where these dudes can eat all the freedom fries they want.
11. It’s a place where reading is fundamental.
12. Where we’ll do anything to win.
13. Where sunsets are always beautiful.
14. And bedtime stories are always patriotic.
15. Where our sports simply MATTER MORE.
16. It’s a demanding place.
17. It’s a place that burns the history books we don’t feel like reading.
18. Because our dicks indeed fire rockets.
19. A place where poetry is everywhere you turn…
20. And everyone is a lottery winner.
21. It’s the only place where you don’t have to care about silly hypothetical questions.
Why?
Because rock, flag and eagle.
Carry on, patriots.
Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/mjkiebus/murica
Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2017 Social Zazz
