When we were younger, it was generally understood that parents were our mortal enemies, put on this earth to obliterate every instance of fun, every ounce of mischief, every shred of bad behavior.
They were the rule-makers and the punishment-givers; they were the ones who took away our weekly allowances, grounded us from going to the party after Homecoming, the ones who waited by the door at curfew.
Years later, looking back with fresh eyes, we’re now doing everything we can to crawl back under that cloak of safety and warmth and unrelenting love once more.
Now that we’ve rubbed palms against the souls of the earth, seen what happens after curfew, known what a bank account in dire straits looks (and feels) like and made it to party after Homecoming, we appreciate all too well the familiarity, the peace and the safety net that our parents took years and years weaving, stitching and sewing for us.
As 20-somethings standing on the precipice of everything, as 30-somethings terrified of one day starting our own families, we value, appreciate and understand just how many changes our relationship with our parents has endured.
We’ve weathered the storms of adolescence and puberty, and we’re back, with forgiving eyes and absolving hugs.
We’re back to show them how we’ve changed – how they’ve changed us. For good. For better. Forever.
1. You’ve traded sneaking out for staying in with them – and you’re really happy about it.
Not so long ago, you were sneaking out of the house and up-to-no-good with you friends. But after turning 21, you traded in your sneaking-out days for a spot on the couch with your parents and a bottle of your favorite bourbon.
Plus, who wants to spend money at the bar when Mom just made popcorn and Dad’s ordering the latest movie On Demand?
There’s just something so rejuvenating about reclining on the couch instead of throwing back beer after beer at an overcrowded pub. Before you get the wrong idea, we’re not planning this kind of low-key Saturday night weekly – but still, there’s no denying how nice it is.
2. Your parents used to take your phone away when you went over your monthly allowance. Now, they won’t stop texting you.
When you were in high school, Mom and Dad would wait outside your room and, as soon as the clock struck 9, they were all over you to turn your cell phone off.
It didn’t matter that you were texting your high school crush or that Sarah just broke up with Jimmy and now Naomi was dating him (Can you even believe it?), “turn it off” meant “turn it off,” or else you were in big trouble.
My, how the tables have turned. Now Mom and Dad are freaking out at the thought of your phone ever being off – or the fact that you might not be close enough to hear it.
3. They’ll give you really good, really useful life advice that doesn’t include being home before curfew.
When we were younger, we’d do everything to escape the non-stop lectures that trickled out of parents’ mouths. It was like they had something to tell us about everything, so after a while, we just tuned them out completely.
Now we’re just dying for one or two of those token gems only Mom and Dad could give us.
Whether it’s a breakup with a boyfriend, an offer for a new job, a disagreement with a best friend or a cozy apartment in Brooklyn that costs more than our budget allows, the first people we want to hash the details out with are Mom and Dad.
4. When you were younger, you dreaded talking to them, but now they’re the best listeners you’ll have.
Looking back, it’ll make you laugh thinking of how often you completely swore off conversations with your parents. You didn’t give details; you were just headed “out” and you’d “be back later.”
If they pressed you, maybe you’d tell them you had made plans with “friends” or that you and Becka weren’t talking because you “had a fight.”
And, my, how times have changed since then. Parents are truly the best listeners on earth.
Whether you flubbed a huge speech with your boss, missed a slide during your presentation, or had an ugly fall-out with your best friend from high school, nine times out of 10, your parents are going to the people standing by with honest, open ears, soaking up every detail you share of your private, personal life.
There’s just something about talking – and having someone genuinely listen – that’s just so refreshing.
5. In high school, they limited your computer time. Now, they won’t stop using theirs.
“No inappropriate websites, no downloading music and absolutely no more than 45-minutes per day,” was the mantra you were forced to subscribe to during high school.
Back then, the Internet was just becoming the incredible machine it is today, so Mom and Dad were only doing their best to keep you safe and protected.
Hell, they even encouraged you to spend your time bulking up on historical facts using Encarta rather than IMing with your friends and sending smiley faces back and forth.
These days, they’re sending more emojis than you are – and downloading way more apps. Funny how things change, isn’t it?
6. You couldn’t wait to get away from them at one point, but now they’re the only people you want to hang with.
A trip to the grocery store with Mom? Five years ago it might have been the epitome of social suicide, but now it’s become one of those activities you two do together that you absolutely revel in.
It’s nice spending time with someone who knows you and loves you all the same time (and it doesn’t hurt that she’ll probably pick up the bill on your groceries, either).
7. They’re the first people you want to call when something good happens…
If we’re being honest, every celebration starts with a phone call to mom and dad. Their excitement is palpable and completely sincere.
There’s also just something so satisfying about being able to tell them, “I did it!” knowing just how proud they’ll be.
8. …And the first number you dial when something goes terribly wrong.
Got laid off? Dumped? Lost your wallet? Parents are innately good at making a bad, bad thing instantly better. And even if they can’t fix what went wrong, they can remind you that no matter what, life goes on.
It’s a gift not everyone can give. But parents always can.
9. You’ve realized, once and for all, that though they won’t always agree with you; they’ll never judge you.
So your parents were less than thrilled about your nose piercing in college or that time you decided to move in with your girlfriend after less than a month of dating.
Maybe they didn’t exactly agree with your decision to quit your corporate job in favor of a work-from-home freelance opportunity, but regardless, Mom and Dad stuck by your side.
One thing that parents are good for – no matter how many hurdles life hurls at both of you – is they won’t ever judge you.
They take it in stride — all of it, down to the very last thing — because they know that underneath everything, you’re still that big-eyed, adorable toddler. You’re still the person you’ve always been.
10. Mom and Dad have always – and will always – want the best for you.
You’ve likely disagreed with your parents on everything: the way you style your hair, the way you wear your jeans, the jobs you take, the partners you date, how much sleep you get (too much, in their opinion), how little you comb your hair.
The beauty and excitement of being different people is that parents will never stop wanting what’s best for you; so even if that includes a too-short trim, a partner who doesn’t exactly measure up, a career that doesn’t really make sense, they will stand idly by, proud smiles stretched across their faces — the safety net waiting to catch you in case you fall.
11. After all this time, you appreciate everything they’ve done for you more than you’ll ever be able to explain.
They have, in every possible way, put their lives, their dreams, their professional goals, their annual beachfront all-inclusive vacations on hold for you.
They’ve bankrolled your AAU memberships, your travel leagues, your proms, your senior trips, your college educations and never once complained (at least not loudly enough for you to hear them).
Since day one, they’ve handed you the world, regardless of what it cost them to give it to you, stood in front of you, beside you, behind you, propelling you forward, giving you the strength to do it and the confidence to make it.
They are the foundation of everything that you’ve built. And when someone gives you all of that with no questions asked, it’s pretty impossible to measure “thank you” in words alone.
12. You’ve stopped keeping your online habits a secret from Mom and Dad. Instead, you’re sharing everything you do with them — proudly.
There was a time, not so long ago, when everything that happened on the World Wide Web needed to be kept hidden from your parents. You didn’t want them to know who you talked to, when you talked to them, how you talked to them or which sites you surfed.
The person you were on the screen was different than the one you were at the dinner table. The loud, outspoken, sarcastic person you were in texts and IMs didn’t match up with the quiet, timid teen that sat at the dinner table, rarely speaking above a whisper.
But now, things have changed. You’re not living under your parents’ roof anymore, so now you find yourself wanting to share your world with them.
You want them to see your pictures, see your check-ins, see how may friends you’re making, how well you’re doing, how happy you are. You want the outspoken, hilarious, loud and sarcastic person on the screen to match the one they see in person.
You’re no longer sneaking behind the screen to keep who you are a secret. Now, you’re inviting Mom and Dad in.
Men, Women and Children, the movie starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Garner, is slated to hit theaters later on this month. The movie focuses on relationships between adults, parents and their children and the relationships children make as friends. It’s a wonderful assessment of how our parents’ influence helps shape, support and change our lives.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
Read more: http://elitedaily.com/life/relationship-with-your-parents-changes/786498/
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