This one goes out to every kid whos ever called his or her teacher Mom. Blogger and The New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson recently had a rough trip to the airport.
Airport cashier: “Have a safe flight.” Me: “You too!” I CAN NEVER COME HERE AGAIN.
— TheBloggess (@TheBloggess) November 1, 2015
When followers read her tweet, they slowly began sharing their own embarrassing stories.
Its difficult to read most of these scenarios without imagining each user shouting because shouting distracts bystanders when one has, say, farted loudly in a packed elevator.
“BONER, FRANK! I MEAN BONER! CRAP! BONER!”
@TheBloggess Received exciting news at work and I combined ‘Banner Day’ and ‘Bonus’ and yelled ‘Boner!’ to my male coworker instead.
— Katie (@TigersJungle) November 2, 2015
“IF YOU’RE SO SMART, WHERE ARE THE LEG HOLES?”
@TheBloggess after my colonoscopy I was still loopy and yelled about not being able to put on my underwear. In front of the whole clinic.
— Beka ( ) (@richwhiteaunt) November 2, 2015
HOW DO I STAIRS?
PUT ER THERE, JOE.
@TheBloggess my dad reached out to shake guy’s hand but guy was carrying drinks so he stuck out his pinky and my dad just shook his pinky.
— CatherineEdselWatson (@cfedselwatson) November 2, 2015
NICE TO MEET ME.
@TheBloggess A work friend introduced me to his wife.
Him: “This is Brittany.”
Me: “This is BJ.”
*I’m* BJ.
— EE-DEE-OH-VEE (@edieovie) November 2, 2015
WHY ARE YOU TEASING US?
Heard bullying so I yell “LEAVE HER ALONE!” Turns out *I* was the target. Bully thought I had multiple personalities. @TheBloggess
— Erica B. D. Secor (@thedavisgirl) November 2, 2015
YOURE MY BEST FRIEND, CARROTS.
@TheBloggess I also called a girl in my aftercare class Carrots for a week before being told her name was Carys. To be fair, *Carys*.
— Elizabeth (@cinderbella) November 2, 2015
WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES, SISTER?
@TheBloggess Mom invited a former nun to Thanksgiving. She asked what she could bring: mom texted back “do you like to fuck?”She meant cook.
— Brookers (@nkotbrookers) November 2, 2015
UGH, MOM, I CANT TAKE YOU ANYWHERE!
@TheBloggess Went to Avon w my mom Her: This thing doesn’t work. I look over & she had lotion all over her shirt. She thought it was perfume
— Lindsay (@withthelanes) November 2, 2015
THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS.
@TheBloggess was getting a chest X-ray and the girl said to hug the machine. I did to the first one I came to. Wrong machine. #awkward
— Melanie Smith (@Melanie_KS) November 2, 2015
CAROL WOULD RECOGNIZE THESE ANYWHERE.
@TheBloggess Tried to wave at a friend across a crowded classroom and caught my thumb in the hem of my shirt. Flashed the entire room.
— Anna Stickabutter (@Stickabutter) November 2, 2015
FINE. ILL HAVE THE FUDGENIS INSTEAD.
HIS CERVIX WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
@TheBloggess Asked my church to pray for a friend of a friend who lost his leg in an IUD explosion…
I meant IED.
Oops.
— emma dirks (@mama_bear113) November 2, 2015
KISS ME, ANDREW.
@TheBloggess on maybe my 2nd date ever, nervously bent over to sip my drink, came up with the straw stuck in my nose.
— Michelle Guthrie (@fittingchange) November 2, 2015
TAKE ME TO DILDOS!
@TheBloggess I was 14. New pizza place in town called Dodi’s. Told mom we should go to “Dildo’s pizza place”. She literally stopped the car
— Brian Darby (@briandarby) November 2, 2015
COME ERE. I LOVE YOU.
@TheBloggess After a haircut, the stylist leaned down towards me & I hugged her. Turned out, she was just trying to unsnap my smock.
— bridget edwards (@bakeat350tweets) November 1, 2015
Lawson loved the tweets and likely realized her airport faux pas was nothing compared to some of her followers mishaps.
My face is puffy from laughing until I cried for three hours straight. NEVER CHANGE, YOU AMAZING PEOPLE. KEEP ON AWKWARDING.
— TheBloggess (@TheBloggess) November 2, 2015
You heard her, folks. Awkward like no ones watching.
Read more: http://elitedaily.com/humor/people-tweeting-most-awkward-moments/1269763/
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