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Community Post: A FAT KID’S GUIDE TO THE GREATEST CHILDHOOD MOMENTS

1. Rugrats

Trade your little sister for a real life Reptar Bar? DONE.

2. Hook

Probably the most memorable food fight known to 90’s kids. The only way to summon bowls of neon frosting out of of thin air now would be while…on acid.

3. Aladdin

Aladdin giving some delicious looking bread to two children who mysteriously look like him. Also known as: Aladdin pays child support.

4. Winnie the Pooh

Don’t tell me you didn’t fantasize over how that honey tasted. Best guess: Taco Bell Nacho Cheese.

5. The Land Before Time

Alternative Title: Little Foot Gets High

6. Mary Poppins

Mary Poppin’s medicine, also known as WHISKEY.

7. Richie Rich

Oh great, he has a fucking McDonalds too? What does Richie Rich have now though really? Diabetes.

8. Casper

Calories mean nothing when you don’t have a body. Or a soul.

9. Beauty and the Beast

Let’s face it. We’re all a little let down with life because our dishes don’t come to life and serve us food. Brad, the pizza guy does, and you have to pay him.

10. Oliver and Company

The day Oliver died.

11. Blank Check

Besides hooking up with an older chick and having his own bounce castle kingdom, he got to eat ice cream guilt free with his best friend man servant. RESPECT.

12. A Little Princess

Why every girl age 6-11 not only wished their father had been blinded in a war, but that they had lived in an orphanage attic.

13. A Goofy Movie

Why we still have an odd fascination with Cheez Whiz. Pauly Shore, not so much.

14. Rock-A-Doodle-Do

Why getting your cock drunk before taking advantage of him is socially acceptable.

15. A Bug’s Life

Why we’ve always wondered what it would be like to slurp up a (cherry flavored?) breast implant.

16. All Dogs Go To Heaven

Charlie knew WHAT WAS UP. Brought his fellow orphan dogs pizza, did a little dance and then passed out. Charlie was drunk.

17. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Never underestimate the power of four RIPPING high turtles.

18. Jurassic Park

Jello boxes should basically come with a “May Bring Raptors” warning.

19. Honey, I Shrunk The Kids

THAT CREAM THO

20. Nightmare Before Christmas

Shameless Campbell’s “Frog Breath Soup” plug.

21. Doug

Dog discovers the joys of menstruating.

22. Now and Then

Vanilla pudding filled faux boobies? What’s not to like?

23. James and the Giant Peach

Didn’t really care how the peach tasted so much as how the DIRT WORM did. (Hotdogs?)

24. Flubber

Flubber. Not a food, just looks like food. Fat kid tease.

25. Mouse Hunt

“Honey, why are you eating Grandma’s yarn?”

26. Good Burger

The real secret ingredient in Kel’s sauce? Love.

27. Matilda

I’m surprised there hasn’t been a “Brucey’s Cake Shop” opened. They could have Trunchbull Tarts, Matilda Macaroons and Danny-and-Rhea-Divorced-Desserts filled with tears.

28. Teen Witch

Besides having an eerie resemblance to a smaller, hairier Rodney Dangerfield, the little brother in Teen Witch makes a mean marshmallow pizza.

29. Mrs. Doubtfire

You dreamt of opening that fridge and shoving your face into a delicious vanilla cake. Or perhaps it was lemon? Possibly even coconut cream? Excuse me while I drool.

30. Kazaam

Not only did Shaq have the sickest rap skills, he made it rain (candy) long before anybody else.

31. It Takes Two

When we all secretly wished Kirstie Alley was our mom so epic food fights could happen on the regular.

32. All That

Let’s take a moment to pause and recognize how effing cool it is that Chris Farley was on this show. Besides the fact that he ruined Kenan’s cake. #KetchupNazi

33. Harry & The Hendersons

Why I thought a corsage was something delicious and edible until age 13.

34. The Sandlot

“They’re getting sick from the ride, right Dad? I mean they wouldn’t have taken any illegal substances, right?”

35. Mickey’s Jack and the Bean Stalk

Also known as Mickey, Donald and Goofy’s “College Years”

36. Heavyweights

Oh how you prayed your parents would send you to Fat Camp.

37. Harriet the Spy

“Mom, I can’t help it if I know what I like.” Words of wisdom Michelle Trachtenburg. That’s probably why you got pregnant on Gossip Girl.

38. The Little Rascals

Alfalfa won Darla over when he gave her those kitty litter sandwiches. Which one could only imagine tasted like a mixture of dirt, sugar and Grapenuts.

39. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

I would have shoved Mike TV’s mom into the chocolate river for a taste of that creamy mushroom.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/dawillia/fat-kids-guide-to-greatest-mouthwatering-childhoo-bef6

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