10 Necessities For Every Super Bowl Party

Every betch loves a good party. With the Super Bowl coming up on Sunday, there are a few necessities any competent party-planner should include.

Whether you're cheering for the Seahawks, the Patriots, or just cheering for the game to end, make sure to take this shopping list with you as you get ready to black out on a Sunday.

1. Condoms

The condoms because you don't want to name your child after a Seahawk. The magnums because of wishful thinking.
2. Pizza Rolls

No good party has ever been thrown without pizza rolls, remember that.
3. Samuel Adams Boston Lager

For all of the uppity Patriots fans at the party who want to feel more spiritually connected to Tom Brady.
4. Immortal IPA

This IPA was brewed in Seattle. If you can't find it, just get another pack with a trendy case and existential name. No one can taste the difference anyway.
5. DVR

TBH, you should already have DVR. But if you don't, invest ASAP. Do you really want to be the only person who missed the adorable puppy commercial on Monday at work?
6. Wings

These are wings. You should keep them fully stocked at all times.
7. Clorox Wipes

Because someone is undoubtedly going to throw their Boston Lager/IPA at the television. Or pee their pants.
8. Guacamole

I know guacamole costs extra.
9. Candles

This is a football candle. You don't necessarily need to buy a football candle. But you do need to have a candle when everyone starts to sweat and get hot and bothered by Tom Brady & co.
10. Dollar Bills

One of the best parts of the Super Bowl is betting on random shit. Will Katy Perry accidentally flash the crowd? Will the camera show Giselle crying? Will a fan streak on the field?