Dear Husband, What Was It Like Before Us?

By Brie Gowen

Sometimes I sit comfortably at the end of the day watching you across the room. The easy silence settles between us as we relax collectively. We pick up conversation at intermittent intervals, never missing a beat even as the shared stories from our day come and go in snippets. So secure are we in one anothers company that we can even nod agreeably before the next word is spoken. And silence? Even it speaks volumes.

What was life like before us?

Its a question I dont like to ask, but in all truthfulness I can barely recall.

I mean, what was it like to try my hardest to say something extremely clever to make you crack a smile?

Our shared humor just flows now.

What was it like to worry I might say the wrong thing, or to worry exactly what I should say?

Now, I anticipate your reaction before it even occurs. We finish each others sentences for goodness sake.

But what was it like to worry about messing it all up with something as trivial as a disagreement?

I rest easy, now, knowing that your love for me is unconditional. So even when we argue it doesnt rock our foundation.

What was it like to worry that my physical appearance needed to be perfect to keep you interested?

I love looking beautiful for you, but I also know youve seen me at my worst, yet youre still attracted to me. The butterflies still fly around in our tummies at an unexpected kiss, but you see beyond my outward features to the heart inside. Thats really what turns you on.

What was it like to have no one to share my dreams with? No one to listen without judging? To counsel me with my best interest at heart?

I cant imagine not sharing my most intimate goals and desires with you. Youre my sounding board, my other conscious, the inspiration God gave me here on earth.

What was it like to not have that one person you knew you could always count on if something unexpected or detrimental occurred?

Youre my helpmate, my partner in this crazy life. When it all seems to be spinning out of control, besides Jesus, youre my only constant.

What was it like to not have that person to serve out of love, that person who made you realize there was more to life than self?

Loving you makes me a better person.

I hear some people yearn for excitement, for that spark and newness that comes with a relationship in the beginning. Ive decided that spark is there all along; it just takes on a different shine. After all, what is more exciting than knowing you share a life with the person who knows you best, loves you at your worst, and is your biggest champion in life? Theres passion in knowing love is unconditional, and its sexy to realize your spouse would drop everything to come to your aid. Its enticing to be able to spend time together enjoying the other persons company without having to be someone youre not. Its a surge of relief to be loved for me, and to see attributes of myself that I never knew existed when I see them through my your eyes.

What was it like before us?

I dont care to think about it. Now is us, and I can truly think of no better place to be.

<!–

–>